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You want to use action words, not ability descriptors, for your self-hypnosis suggestions. It's not, "I can reach my sales quota," but "I reach my sales quota every month." Don't tell yourself, "I am able to be creative when I sit down to write," but, "I am very creative when I write." Who cares what you can do if you never do it?
There are times when the present tense if not realistic, because your goal will take a while to be realized. An example is if you are recovering from a broken leg. It doesn't work to say, "My leg is healed," the day after you break it. We're not dealing in miracles. Use the progressive tense. "My leg is healing quickly. It is stronger every day." You can recover 20% faster with self-hypnosis, and obeying the doctor's orders.
Although you can't use self-hypnosis to control someone else's actions, you can still include other people in your suggestions. You can see your audience enjoying your speech. You can hear the applause at the end of your recital. They're responding to your excellence, not your will.
In the same way, if you want to help someone, work on the way you will act toward them, not on forcing them to make changes you dictate.