May 28, 2010, Newsletter Issue #262: Goals Relating to Other People

Tip of the Week

So you would like to have Jack, or Judy, ask you for a date. Can you use self-hypnosis to get through to him/her?

You have a big tennis match coming up. You know that Jim, your opponent, has trouble getting his second serve in. Can you use self-hypnosis to make that serve even shakier?

The big promotion will go to either you or Linda. You know that the choice will come down to the final interview. Can you do something to influence Linda to make a mistake so you will get the job?

The answer is no, no, and no.

You cannot use self-hypnosis to control or influence other people. You cannot use it to hex or cast spells.

This is tempting. If you are competing against someone, it's tempting to influence their performance. It's also tempting to try whatever you can come up with to attract someone. Self-hypnosis, or any hypnosis, can't be used in this way. I realize there are all kinds of tricks you can use to fool your opponent into thinking you are going to do something other than what you intend. You want to keep your poker face and not let the other players know what's in your hand. But this is not the same as using your own hypnosis session to describe or imagine someone else making a mistake. That won't work.

In the same way, you cannot use self-hypnosis to help someone else by influencing their behavior. You can influence your own behavior toward them. Teach them self-hypnosis instead so they can help themselves.

There is a way you can use other people's reactions to you to bolster your own self-image, and we discuss that in the suggestion section.

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